Womanizing is a common fact in the Filipino culture. Out of 10 Filipino women, 9 would say that their men had cheated on them. Since a relationship is a foundation of a couple who would want to start a home, it is also necessary to know what factors that caused these men to look for another nest other than their own. What are the key reasons why men would still look up for another attachment with other women? What emotional situations they do have to be able to cheat with their present wives or girlfriends? What are their reactions when faced being caught of having an affair? What do they do after they got busted out? What are the emotional strains women has to have undergone to be able to move on?
It’s pretty surprising that the man we trusted with our lives were the ones that would hurt our soul and heart by cheating on us. Of course trying to be fair for both genders, we would just not jump to any conclusions we can throw at them. We have to consider factors on why they chose to look for another affection other than ours. We cannot just simply become judgmental of their flaws but instead we will try to learn and understand why they are behaving so.
For these issues, I would like to share my own views of these factors that I have observed from both genders affecting a relationship that leads into waste.
- Conflicting interests. Mostly, interests partakes a great common denominator in making the relationship work good. When a man is dominant with his interests and the woman doesn’t support him, it could lead into losing affections and would might soon become irresolvable wherein parting ways could be inevitable. Petty as it looks but when a guy is too fond of watching NBA on TV and the woman is standing by to also watch History Channel, it could be a problem as to who would hold the remote control. When switching channels, one loses interests and the other also lost desires to continue watching on. I know some would suggest to just get each a TV set but that is not just practical to average families. Still a strain to the relationship is likely to develop as each interest doesn’t make the other one interested. Therefore, no good interaction happened when one should be cultivating to chuck out a communication barrier.
- Women are much smarter than the men. Inferiority often comes to men with partners that can generate great ideas when faced with tough situations. Situations like financial problems, family members involved in serious troubles, mean boss who’s fond of raising hell to everyone, or just even the most basic of things that’s happening in the household. Some men doesn’t so much like it when they see their partners being so analytical with situations and thus offered great solutions to what they were having hard times about. On the few times, they would feel happy to have done the right thing suggested by their partners but in the long run, they would lose confidence and sees the partner as stepping on their confidences to act on their own ideas and thus they sometimes resorted to being ill-tempered to show that they are still the man of the house.
- Unimaginative sexual interaction. A relationship is bonded not just for achieving sexual interaction the literal way but also for satisfying the partner’s sexual desires. It is quite an uneasy discussion to tackle Filipino women’s sexual desires as mostly they would just stick to what they know as it is. Oftentimes, it is also exciting to try to make the lovemaking more fun by trying things nontraditionally. I do not suggest or imply to go beyond what is already the normal way of making love but keeping the heat of excitement and fun and loving moments will not give the chance for the partners to stray for mere reasons of being sexually unsatisfied with their partners. Most Filipino women are deprived of what is the wild way of making love as they see it as dirty largely imbued by religion and moral views of treating sexual interaction as a divine act. I once knew a guy who cheated his wife simply for reasons that another woman gives him exciting sexual pleasures than his wife. Another friend also mentioned that her husband only knows one bed position and never tried something different. Both of them suffered relationship strains but still both cling on amidst dissatisfactions as it is often a Filipino’s culture to save a family no matter how crazy and stormy the relationship goes.
- Contrasting lifestyles. It is somewhat difficult to hang out with people whose interests never reach the kind that they have. His friends lives in the depressed area whose pastimes are to drink heavily on weekends, smoke continuously without considerations for non-smokers, played pretty loud music and talked loudly damaging eardrums for lack of control when drunk. Her preferences are quiet places to read and embark on anything worth educationally induced to enhance personal quests to understand the larger spins of the world. It came to a point that she no longer goes with him as nobody in his crowd can interact and engage her to an intellectual talk. He also doesn’t accompany her to watch movies and search books on bookstores or even read interesting happenings on the internet. It is not just a simple lifestyle difference but it affected their relationship as again, they both do not have a topic to engaged on discussion and stimulate both their philosophical views of stuffs and therefore enriched their own insights about things around them. (This could be the other way around)
- Job securities. The man worked as a rank in file employee while the woman worked as a branch supervisor in a large chain of companies. Usually, the woman gets too busy doing her job and sometimes loses time to spend with her partner and function as a housewife to tend to his needs. Isn’t it that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach? Serve a man a good meal + loving care and great affections, I wonder if he would still look at someone else. But this will not happen if the woman is functioning as the one who gets a large check. It is often an unspoken truth that whoever is earning big has the last say on most cases. Taking the famous showbiz personality for example as having lots of projects and tremendous media exposure making her more famous than her husband, no matter how they say that they loved each other, still they end up untying the knots and go their separate ways. It’s pretty difficult when women are more ahead on most things than men. It often goes back as to who got balls when it comes to financial achievements. Often enough, women don’t care of losing their men as they can surely support themselves without them. But how do they cope with the emotional strains it caused them?
- Fucked up trust. At one point in a relationship, a woman trust a man to not cheat on her and a man is depending that the woman would still stay the same like the first time they met, keep the same level of affection and make him the center of her life. In the course of starting a relationship, it is a huge risk on both sides to be with somebody whom they all thought to be someone who would stick with them through thick and thin, for richer or poorer, in health of sickness, for better or for worse and stand on that lifetime commitment. But when things started to go knotty, women do try to salvage the relationship first. When things start to work out again, one major mistake and the entire wall would collapse into rubble as the once solid relationship already has a crack on it. It’s difficult to put back trust again as it can be like a crystal ball that once broken can never be mended back. A man would feel so lost after losing his woman as they are mostly weak on dealing emotional problems. It is then that they resort to drinking or any vice they can think of just to forget their weaknesses. Most men are too chicken to face their own problems. It is sometimes true that only a woman can bring doom to a gallant and mighty man.
- Non-acceptance of failures. Blaming the partner for the cause of the relationship rift than assessing the true issue often leads to insurmountable differences and freaky arguments that encourage more resentment to start hurtful verbal attacks. It is near impossible to remain calm when one is under heavy emotional outburst and rational thinking is too far away to get by. Men were often never good at explaining into words what they truly feel and left women to start the long rituals of trying to make their partners see mostly by beating around the bush rather than directly say the truth. Other men are also too proud to accept their own shortcomings and still find ways to direct the blames to their partners in any way they thought could save them from inner embarrassment of being wrong. Avoiding emotional confrontations like this sometimes push men to just simply skip the process and because mostly doesn’t think first before doing so – they just hook up with someone who would not question them of what they do. There starts the breaking of marriage vows to stick thru thick and thin where in fact a 20-minute screw with somebody else would cause your family life to crumble down and is irreparable already.
